How to Set a Winning Dating Profile

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I’ve swiped on thousands of men, partly for me because it’s fun and it feels like a romantic lottery, but also to refine my understanding of modern dating. Bottom line: we got work to do!

The market is crowded, and (sadly) what applies to online marketing also applies to you. Just like we design an ad, your profile promotes your essence and has seconds to talk to get her to swipe right!

Here are key principles to charm her through her phone, and get you to match with your dream woman!

your pictures: Create a strong visual narrative

Your profile pictures have milliseconds to create trust and attraction. Although this seems unfair, I do believe that much is transmitted and felt through a picture, especially when we can see your eyes. Our brain is wired to seek for certain attributes, so it's not that shallow. 

You want to ignite her curiosity, to make her feel safe, to seem both accessible and exciting.

Here are the different types of pictures, in the right sequence, that'll help you create a narrative that first opens her mind, that creates excitement, safety, attraction, and a desire to connect: 

  1. Adventurous in Nature: these travel pictures are fun, light and exciting. Nature breathes and it feels free, it's inviting her to see more.
  2. Social and Fun: Who's your circle? Would she hang out with them? When we date, we date an entire group of people.
  3. Family picture: It's really great to see someone's family because it's part of the deal too and it's a big piece to the puzzle of you.
  4. Accomplished and Polished: Show yourself in your powers, proud and confident, without being arrogant.
  5. Close and Connected: You're now offering a close-up, a peek into your soul, she can see your eyes and get your vibe. 
  6. Caring and Affectionate: The classic picture of you with cute puppies and/or cute babies does work to soften our heart and make us feel safe to engage. 

DO NOT use pixelated pictures from college, graphic hunting pictures, pictures with your ex or you making out with beer bottles: it's not cool nor sexy. Take high quality, recent pictures to highlight how you're a grounded, sensual, solid and fun man. You'll then attract the same quality of women. 

Your bio: the right angle & attributes

Women are curious and don’t swipe right on everyone. Too many men leave dry descriptions with mundane details. Save yourself some time and give us something to start off with and see if there's any potential. 

Now if you’ve taken advice from dating gurus, I’ll tell you we often see the same "funny descriptions", so it's not unique. I suggest you choose your angle and come up with something unique that reflects your truth:

  1. Fun & Witty: To make it easier to engage with you and to "filter" out the ones who don't get your mind and humor, offer something atypical that'll make the right woman crack up with a question, a challenge, a joke, or something to get it going right from your profile. Making a woman laugh and dream is key to attraction! 

Ex.: "The first one to talk wins". or "Tell me your superpower and I'll tell you mine". 

  1. Erotic & Romantic: If you're feeling affectionate and that's what you want to attract, be open and clear about this. Chances are, she wants that too, and it's harder than ever to find romantic material on the apps. You'll stand out from the cynical, "Netflix and chill" fuck buddies and will set clear expectations right from the start. Own your sexual desires. 

Ex.: "I'm a dog person but I'll love and honor your pussy" or "It's cold outside, let me keep you warm", "Santa told me you were nice this year, but I can still spank you", etc. ;) 

  1. Clear and Descriptive: Give us good information so we can all save some small talk: where you're from, education, profession, kids or not, passions, height (why not!), etc. If you're a straight-shooter who knows what he wants, give that clarity with a sweet, human touch. Knowing what you want is manly and it'll connect with the same type of energy.

Ex.: "34, Libra, I love tennis and live music shows. I'm ready for my Queen to rock my world" or "I'm looking to meet wonderful women and see where it goes, one kiss at a time". 

Finally, beyond your profile's info, your intention when creating it and using the app really matters, it is felt. Make sure you're coming at it with an open-mind, heart, and positive outlook. Trying to fill the void and breaking loneliness will be felt and lead to bitterness and lack of success. Clear your mind, and get on it when it feels fun and exciting. 

Go ahead and update your profile to make sure the right woman will swipe right! It'll be the start of a wonderful adventure... If you need help, contact me with your dating dreams: hey@audeolivia.com 

Love,

Aude xo

The 3 Magic Texts to Make Her Feel Safe

(This is an actual email I sent to a man in my life). 

I alluded to the future, you felt pressure, plans fell through, nothing new. 

You said "there is beauty in surrendering", to which I concurred and replied:

Yes, I want to surrender, within a safe container. 

That is the balance of the feminine and of the masculine.

The dancer is a flame on a firm floor. The child plays wild in a warm house. 

You talked about the ephemeral rush of the race, the unknown... Yes but the path is traced, you know where you're starting from, and for how long you'll run until you hear the finish line cheering for your mind and for the ribbon to break open on your ribs. 

That is what too many men fail to create: safety

So what does it mean, to make her feel safe?

It means to welcome her emotions and stand tall throughout the storm, to admire the expression of spirit moving through her.

It means to hold space when she suffocates, to build new walls when the room is too small, or to simply break them down and be blown away by the Force that She is. It's something that money can't buy, because to pay attention to her is more valuable than any bill you'll sign. 

It means to gently remind her that you're here, even when you're not. Here's a magic way to do it:

Send her a simple "good morning", "how was your day", and "good night" texts. This sequence creates a comforting narrative, or that "safe container" that'll her relax, meaning that:

"I think about you upon rising, I care about your day, and you're in my thoughts as my spirit drifts to dream."

I can't recommend that enough, it'll be the best investment of your time. It's enough to make her feel safe, without killing all the mystery and sense of adventure in this dating safari (for the ones who like hunting)...

From a psychological perspective, agreeing we ultimately have sex to reproduce ourselves, then this basic emotional support is a good signal that a man will be a good father and that he won't ghost the scene if or when he plants his seed.

I'm not talking about an oversized diamond ring, I'm talking two minutes a day to make her feel safe so that sex doesn't feel like a fire in a room of explosives but more so like a flower in a field on the first day of spring, safe to bloom in your hands, safe to follow the flow of the ongoing orgasmic nature of the cosmic forces that make us move and come together.

Make it safe for me to ignite my fire, for us to feel so much pleasure so that pain sits in the back as a punctual teacher. 

Be in a state of loving awareness and focused energy, be conscious of her simple experience, the beauty of presence beyond form, without the need to say or do anything. That is one of the most powerful ways for men to embrace their inner feminine and to learn the art of "being", beyond "doing". After all, we are "human beings", not human "doings"... 

When a man holds space for a woman, he becomes the floor and the symphony for her divine feminine dance to be. He becomes the canvas for all of her beauty.

What unfolds then is nothing but magic, and for all that a woman can be and give, I wish for these words to soon be both obvious and obsolete. 

The only reason I can see why men don't always hold this space is that some might not be ready to experience the beauty that'll shine through, they'd get blinded by the light...

For the man who is awakening and who is ready to witness and receive a woman's wonders, her joyfulness, devotion and sensuality, I invite you to make her feel safe by holding space and by signaling your support, presence, and respect, with gentle gestures, such as a "good night" text. 

It is that simple. Of course, there's much more than the digital for her to feel safe, but that's the best seed to start with. If you're ready to go deeper, that's why I'm here

Here, take it, it's the key to the castle: be present, safe and gentle. 

 

 

Yes, You Are Creative

Tell me, when was the last time you created something, just to have fun, like a kid?

I know, we get busy. Yet, we do find time to scroll, swipe and feed the feeds...

I get it, I stopped creating for years, but thank God I listened to the impulse and started drawing again. It's flowing, like a river in the spring. I've been writing songs too. I also dance a lot, I even dance when I walk, and even when I don't.

Coincidently, my spiritual practice is deepening. Hmm, interesting... Perhaps that is why being inspired means "in-spirit"... 

At this point, it is clear to me that these movements and pencil traits are not really what "I do", but that my real work is to remove my sense of self, my ego, my fears, my blockages, from the vessel that I am so that the divine can freely express itself through me, as it's also begging to come through you. And that is our true Art.

Yes, we are channels for creation!

We're all creative because our Source is creative. Our Source is also loving, giving and abundant, and so is our core, our Truth. Whether we are conscious of our creation or paid for it is irrelevant to our inherent creative nature. 

At different times in our lives, we're all singers, dancers, writers, storytellers, and painters! But let me clarify this: even business strategy, planning, engineering, and coding are creative! We're just putting tags and man-made concepts on it... 

These are so much more than "professions" that are too often poisoned by performance standards, subjective thinking, and economic imperatives, they're vital modes of human expression for us to relate, for us to process emotions, and make sense out of reality. But once our creation is aligned with our Heart, oh, its beauty is irresistible! 

All forms of creation are accessible to you at any point, no matter how your delivery takes shape and what formal training as prepared you or conditioned your mind, or not. Forms of Art are cultural carriers, codes, systems and beautiful manifestations of the divine on this colorful and diverse planet, our magical canvas with shades of blue and green we've transformed into breathing rainbows. 

Yet, so many say: "I'm not creative", with great conviction. The wounds are still bleeding, the child loved creating, but now the inner light is dying... Yes, you were creative until someone laughed, a grade was given, until comparison and competition kicked in. 

To this limiting belief of anyone not being creative I say:

You are creative, but you might be afraid of failing and dense within yourself. Hence why you're out of flow, out of sync with the Source, too many blockages. Remove these and feel yourself be creative again, in whichever way it chooses to manifest itself. 

To attain a state of flow and nurture your creative qualities, I offer you these simple practices, which have done wonders for me in all areas of my life: 

  • Accept silence, spend moments alone to increase self-awareness and self-acceptance, breathing to start the dissolving of your inner blockages 
  • Meditate on love and peace, tune up your frequency to align with the highest ones
  • Visualize light in and out of you, all creation stems from light, even ourselves - what I'm talking about here will one day be backed by science, and not sound New Age! ;) 
  • Connect with a consciousness or a guide who might assist your creative process, Salvator Dali or Jimmy Hendrix, anyone can help you and they want to!
  • Do it with pure joy and bliss, otherwise, take a break and never force it. A river never tries to flow, a tree never tries to grow...
  • Just do it, without any expectation, creating is a practice like anything else
  • When it comes, make room to receive and honor the gift of inspiration: sit down with the right tools, practice, practice, listen and do not be afraid to be alone to hear the signals
  • Once the creation is completed, bring your hands together for a prayer, "thank you, thank you for the words", or anything that came through, to clearly express your gratitude and openness to receive more and more divine data.

to recover our powerful creative nature, we must be Love, be Light, align with divine consciousness with such dedication and reverence so that our fears blocking our inner light can no longer exist. 

That is the work of a lifetime! It is not about "you" or "me" doing this or that, it's about us welcoming it, making room for it, with gratitude, excitement, humility, and great care to deliver it in its most graceful and delicious way to all and our curious senses, as they amuse and seduce our senses too. 

To be creative is to honor and continue God's work on this planet.

To be creative is to connect with the consciousness that sparked our existence.

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To be creative is to remember our true nature, and embody the divine on Earth. 

We create with every thought, and with every word we say. We've been given more powers than we know how to use, and it has nothing to do with how good of a dancer or a writer we can be, oh no, it's all about becoming humble carriers for creation, flowers blooming in ways no eye has ever seen, with fragrances no one has ever smelled, until you became a loving vessel and rekindled your Inner Light.