I see a common denominator in the relationships that work and the ones that crash, and it's
SAFETY. Here's why:
Logically speaking, two human beings seek to build a safe nest for the race to evolve and survive.
And with this ever volatile "dating market", creating a safe container is rarer and more powerful than ever.
With digital distortion, confusion ("are we exclusive?" "are we even dating?"), interpretation (a red heart, omg!), doubts, and avoidance are dominating trends.
So, if you take the time to create safety, so much romantic and sexual magic can take place...
When two people build a relationship, fears and anxieties will arise, naturally. That's a fact.
When they do, you'll highly benefit from expressing them, even if could feel like you're appearing "weak".
The truth is that fear is felt, so there's no point in hiding it! Naming them dissolves their pull and transforms the anxiety into courage to face them.
Yes, voicing them is a sign of STRENGTH. Vulnerability takes big balls, and ovaries.
In the relationships that I've built, we made definite efforts to bring clarity and peace to each other's heart, out of compassion.
(Don't let someone turn in bed wondering what you meant, it's just cruel and it's bad dating karma.)
At times, I brought up potential issues and I realized my ego wanted to "rationalize" why it couldn't work so that I would remain free and avoid potential pain.
The ego is defined by its -separate- nature, the I -VS- you.
Any kind of union puts it at risk. It'll come up with great reasons not to commit. Stay aware, the ego is so very clever...
I would observe and say: "I can see how my ego searches for things that are wrong, exit doors, to avoid commitment"
Within yourself, you have a committee that tends to express itself from different and potentially conflicting perspectives.
Instead of retracting and entering a texting spiral fueled by the fire of the fight, talk face to face until Love had calm this fear.
YOUR EGO LOVES TO TEXT. It's easy, you're protected. Be very aware.
YOUR HEART LOVES TO EXPRESS.
So, we would talk until all was said, expressed, cleared.
The basis of any heart-opening and sexual connection requires a mutual investment into clear, courageous communication and safety building.
Your lower chakra needs safety to be open, otherwise, the energy doesn't flow up to the Heart chakra.
Before fantasizing on a future or seeking for a spectacular sex life, invest in this safe foundation that allows both partners to open up and play.
Happiest of Valentine's Day, and even if it's just a day, it's a good one to remember how to love better and that really, communication is sweeter than chocolate.
Ps. Here I talk about the simplest way to create safety with a woman in this digital age. It's so easy!