I’ve swiped on thousands of men, partly for me because it’s fun and it feels like a romantic lottery, but also to refine my understanding of modern dating. Bottom line: we got work to do!
The market is crowded, and (sadly) what applies to online marketing also applies to you. Just like we design an ad, your profile promotes your essence and has seconds to talk to get her to swipe right!
Here are key principles to charm her through her phone, and get you to match with your dream woman!
your pictures: Create a strong visual narrative
Your profile pictures have milliseconds to create trust and attraction. Although this seems unfair, I do believe that much is transmitted and felt through a picture, especially when we can see your eyes. Our brain is wired to seek for certain attributes, so it's not that shallow.
You want to ignite her curiosity, to make her feel safe, to seem both accessible and exciting.
Here are the different types of pictures, in the right sequence, that'll help you create a narrative that first opens her mind, that creates excitement, safety, attraction, and a desire to connect:
- Adventurous in Nature: these travel pictures are fun, light and exciting. Nature breathes and it feels free, it's inviting her to see more.
- Social and Fun: Who's your circle? Would she hang out with them? When we date, we date an entire group of people.
- Family picture: It's really great to see someone's family because it's part of the deal too and it's a big piece to the puzzle of you.
- Accomplished and Polished: Show yourself in your powers, proud and confident, without being arrogant.
- Close and Connected: You're now offering a close-up, a peek into your soul, she can see your eyes and get your vibe.
- Caring and Affectionate: The classic picture of you with cute puppies and/or cute babies does work to soften our heart and make us feel safe to engage.
DO NOT use pixelated pictures from college, graphic hunting pictures, pictures with your ex or you making out with beer bottles: it's not cool nor sexy. Take high quality, recent pictures to highlight how you're a grounded, sensual, solid and fun man. You'll then attract the same quality of women.
Your bio: the right angle & attributes
Women are curious and don’t swipe right on everyone. Too many men leave dry descriptions with mundane details. Save yourself some time and give us something to start off with and see if there's any potential.
Now if you’ve taken advice from dating gurus, I’ll tell you we often see the same "funny descriptions", so it's not unique. I suggest you choose your angle and come up with something unique that reflects your truth:
- Fun & Witty: To make it easier to engage with you and to "filter" out the ones who don't get your mind and humor, offer something atypical that'll make the right woman crack up with a question, a challenge, a joke, or something to get it going right from your profile. Making a woman laugh and dream is key to attraction!
Ex.: "The first one to talk wins". or "Tell me your superpower and I'll tell you mine".
- Erotic & Romantic: If you're feeling affectionate and that's what you want to attract, be open and clear about this. Chances are, she wants that too, and it's harder than ever to find romantic material on the apps. You'll stand out from the cynical, "Netflix and chill" fuck buddies and will set clear expectations right from the start. Own your sexual desires.
Ex.: "I'm a dog person but I'll love and honor your pussy" or "It's cold outside, let me keep you warm", "Santa told me you were nice this year, but I can still spank you", etc. ;)
- Clear and Descriptive: Give us good information so we can all save some small talk: where you're from, education, profession, kids or not, passions, height (why not!), etc. If you're a straight-shooter who knows what he wants, give that clarity with a sweet, human touch. Knowing what you want is manly and it'll connect with the same type of energy.
Ex.: "34, Libra, I love tennis and live music shows. I'm ready for my Queen to rock my world" or "I'm looking to meet wonderful women and see where it goes, one kiss at a time".
Finally, beyond your profile's info, your intention when creating it and using the app really matters, it is felt. Make sure you're coming at it with an open-mind, heart, and positive outlook. Trying to fill the void and breaking loneliness will be felt and lead to bitterness and lack of success. Clear your mind, and get on it when it feels fun and exciting.
Go ahead and update your profile to make sure the right woman will swipe right! It'll be the start of a wonderful adventure... If you need help, contact me with your dating dreams: firstname.lastname@example.org