11 Keys to a Healing & Happy psychedelic journey

First and foremost, I'm a total health nut. My diet mostly consists of chia pudding with all the superfoods you can imagine, lemon apple cider vinegar water, algae salad wraps, and sweet potatoes when I feel fancy. I never drink coffee, nor do I take meds, I barely ever drink alcohol, and I have an extensive physical practice to keep me flowing. 

So, I wouldn't be sharing this if I didn't truly believe that some of these psychoactive plants are very healthy, on all levels: emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I have the profound conviction that they will be widely used and accessible in a not-so-distant future. In fact, I believe some of them are key to human being's evolution. They're software upgrades for the human mind. 

I had my first psychedelic experience 3.5 yrs ago in Kauai, I was 27 years old. It was incredible, in the best way possible. I received so many downloads (divine inspiration and content right from the Source) and felt deeply connected with nature, with Truth. It opened a gateway of growth and exploration for me. 

Since then, I've done Magic Mushrooms (psilocybin) about 12 times, LSD, MDMA, Ayahuasca, Peyote, Kambo, Rapé, and a few others that are a little more rare. My experiences have ranged from light visuals, vibrancy, fun art watching, to full blown transcendental experiences, embodying the divine, activating healing powers, shape-shifting, deep channelling and time alteration. 

I've never taken coke, heroin, or meth, or any strong stimulants or opioids. We simply can't put all these substances in the "drug" bucket. The experience they provide and their chemical makeup are way too different to do so. 

What I'm sharing here is that psychedelics and plant medicines are a category of their own, teachers and keys to inner worlds full of love, beauty, and wisdom. They also help re-discover our current reality through another lens, and in doing so, we fall in love with life again. As a bonus, they're clinically proven to help with anxiety and depression, without risking addiction. 

Why are we so scared of them? Because we're conditioned, brainwashed if you will, and for "good reasons". During the hippie movement, the usage of psychedelics lead to a powerful awakening and desire to be unified again.

The issue here is that capitalism is based on competition. Our economic system runs on division. We all live in separate units, all buying the same shit, with very little sharing. "Let's each get a lawnmower instead of sharing one"! So anything that leads to communal living or unity would be extremely disruptive to the current order and systems of enslavement, which definitely includes psychedelics. 

So if you're ready to heal the great wound (feeling of division, inflated ego), with the help of these magical substances, here's my advice for a safe, healing and happy trip:

  1. Do Your Research: Read forums, blogs, ask people, devour books, watch YouTube videos, follow your curiosity and attraction. It'll make you feel more grounded and confident in your experience.
  2. Choose a Trusted Source: that really matters. Ask people who have used this source. Ask questions. There are ways to test it to make sure it's the actual plant. Trust your intuition. I've bought some before and threw it away because I wasn't feeling it. 
  3. Find peace and Accept Fears, to Transform Them: hey, I still get nervous. My ego still is afraid to dissolve and return to Oneness. You'll probably feel nervous, anxious, doubtful, and that's normal. Behind every fear hides a desire: a desire to heal and connect with our Higher Self. Don't suppress your fear, smile at it, and know that soon, it'll be filled with love and beauty.
  4. Fast & Clean: As much as possible, eat very little and don't consume gluten, soy, artificial sugar or coffee before, during, and after your trip. Also avoid fermented foods, mango, banana, avocado, kombucha, and drinks lots of water throughout your trip. A big part of it is chemical and in interaction with your gut (a world of its own). If you're already super intoxicated (like most people are), well, of course, the trip could be denser, but it's also the plant helping you purge that yucky chemistry stuck inside of you. You want to clean that sh*t out! 
  5. Blessings & Intention: Bless the medicine, give it all your love and gratitude for its intelligence and healing powers, pray, connect with your guides and angels in your own way. Call it God, the Universe, Jesus, or your Ascended Masters, with whomever you want to trip with to experience divine beauty in a safe, guided manner. As for your intention, it may be something you wish to release, activate, call into your life, or discover. For example: "May I release my blockages and fears around abundance and align with my life's highest purpose".
  6. Choose a Safe Environment: Please, don't try this in a club or at a party with strangers. Rent a cabin, do it at home, have big blankets ready, do not plan on driving, biking, or swimming. You'll want to be grounded and know the place by heart. 
  7. Only Trip with People you Love and Trust: People's vibes and their relationships to you will impact your trip. Make sure you're connected and comfortable with them. You'll deepen your bond and see a whole other side of the person. Tripping with my friends has gotten us so incredibly close. It brought us to other worlds and created memories we'll cherish for the rest of our lives. 
  8. Optimize for Bliss & Beauty: Get a playlist ready, have art material, cool stuff to watch, to feel, stuff to amuse your senses and deepen your appreciation of the human experience.
  9. Be Ready to Capture Insights: Pen and paper, always! Or record your insights.
  10. Share & Reflect: What did you see, what did you learn? What do you want to tell your "sober" self? 

There you go, fellow psychonaut! I truly hope that gives you the guidance and courage needed to explore psychedelics. They've brought so much into my life, and I can only smile as to all the greatness they'll bring into yours.

Aude xo 

A Story of Trauma: How Britney Spears Ruined My Smile

Age 7: a time ripe for trauma and the start of our journey seeking for society’s approval, a journey with no arrival. 

Britney Spears was becoming an icon, and soon we would all emulate her overly sexualized behaviors subconsciously calling for abuse over women. 

That part with the lyrics, I didn’t know. Being French-Canadian, there are a lot of things I didn’t get… Like that genie in the bottle line, and no I’m not "a slave for you", unless we have an agreement and a safe word. I digress… 

So, my friend Louis (who was clearly gay, but he didn’t admit it then, the hormones were still manageable), commented on how nice Britney’s smile was. 

“She has such a nice smile, wow!” 

“It’s not that nice”, I said, with my fading critical sense still seeking for authenticity yet slowly giving into the desire to fit in.  

And he said, get ready, it’s quite heavy…

(cue overly emotional music)

A half-smile-full-of-makeup selfie from my self-conscious days in LA. Classic.

A half-smile-full-of-makeup selfie from my self-conscious days in LA. Classic.

“Do you think yours is better?”

Dun dun dun! Yeah, that’s it, and that’s all. Sorry, I wish I had a better line to make sense of that trauma. 

To your mature mind, it surely sounds innocent. But to me then, God damn it it wasn’t. You know, life coaches didn’t exist back in the 90’s. 

Somehow, it made me believe that my smile was awful. Yeah, blow it up times ten and obsess over a little comment, that’s easy. Trauma doesn’t always makes sense. 

How this five word sentence shaped my life is pretty sad:

I hid my mouth with my hand every time I laughed, and I never smiled with my teeth. I often looked half-happy, and it made me look standoffish or arrogant at times, and/or girly and super shy. “You’re so cute”, I often heard, well hiding my dragon self. 

On top of that, some dudes in school made fun of me because I was hiding my mouth (yay, layers of trauma!) and they made a concerted effort to making me laugh because they thought that was funny. Although it is fun to have people committed to making you laugh, blocking its full expression sucks. It’s like holding back on a screaming orgasm, it sucks. 

I dropped thousands on invisible braces, to open my mouth, which hadn’t fully developed because of that tiny moment. I practiced smiling on my own with my friend the mirror, simply to learn how to smile for when they’d ask: “come on, give me a real smile!”, which ironically would piss me off and really ruin chances of it happening. 

Don’t tell a woman to calm down, unless you want her to freak out. And don’t ask her to orgasm either, unless you want her to fake it. 

The good news is that I’m more and more showing my pearly whites! But it’s good to understand the origin of our pain, to be kind with ourselves, to love back these parts of us which need it the most.

And, to be aware that our words can and do mark people for too long sometimes. Words are powerful, so to “cast spells” with compassion is essential to build a better world where all can smile big and wide, live happy and trauma free. 

The Love Only Two Women Can Share

Tonight, I have a date! Not with a man, but with a woman.

Hehe, no, it won't be romantic, even though we very much love each other, and our chat thread is covered in red.

But when I was younger, I had challenges with female friendship. Some were great, but I dealt with jealousy and some bullying. I didn't give into it, thank God, it could have been much worse.

I reverted to the companionship of my boyfriends, and for ten years straight, I always had a boyfriend. I feel part of it was to address the fear of loneliness, and my trouble in developing deep, healthy relationships with women. But I knew how to make a man need me with sex. (...)

I still had a series of "besties" and met amazing women I loved deeply. I'm not viscerally attracted to women, unfortunately ;).

We spent lots of time together, yet I never had the traditional big social structures that movies and huge wedding parties seem to celebrate.

But that's okay, I always preferred the intimacy of the duo or the trio. There's a depth to it that nourishes me so much.

As you know, having been mostly single for the past 3.5 years has been... eventful, and testing at times.

The good news is that it made room for me to truly develop my relationship with Women, with the Feminine.

So, over the past few years, I had a few stellar, angelic, brilliant girlfriends, or Sisters more so, with whom we did everything...

We traveled, worked, lived (abroad and with my family), loved, tripped, cried, coached, grew, learned, philosophized, explored the world together, and more...

We did everything but have sex, lol.

I learned sooo much about communication and intimacy through these relationships, which I'll always cherish. I learned how to love Women, and how to love myself in the process.

I'll share one scene of many that tattooed my psyche...

...Her and I were naked in the bathtub, and she took a Moroccan glove and scrubbed my entire body with so much reverence, love, and vigor.

It was kinda gross lol, the dead cells and dirt peeling off, but she stood there in the water until I was basically as new as a baby, even though she's a total clean freak haha.

She also made me a hair mask, fresh juices, she truly cared for my most radiant health.

I was in awe in front of her devotion, her level of care, which I had traditionally only received in the exchange for sex... I was honored, and felt so grateful for her.

Unfortunately, this kind of proximity is too often reserved for romantic partnerships, we forgot how to be Sisters, Witches together, or so it seems...

To be naked, to sleep together, not for sex, but for the privilege to be close beyond the mind. There's an innocence and mystical quality to it.

And recently, I met my new bestie :). It feels like I meet the right woman for each phase of growth, for each chapter...

The other day, we met to talk about our dreams and plan our execution. We teared up twice, we had chills all over, it truly felt divine. Our "first date" too was "perfect". We went boxing, went to see a movie, it was super fun.

We made a list of all the awesome things we'll do this summer, including motorcycling, tattoos, bungee jumping, magic mushrooms and all... !!!

Of course, it'd be nice to do this with the man of my dreams, and she longs for the same, but dear God is it nice to love a woman, to love her for who she is, not for the way she feels, to love her for her heart, with nothing to fill, but just beings who feel full together.

To the men who couldn't love me for all that I am, thank you for having made room for me to discover the power of female friendship. I wouldn't have known, how deep it can go, how loving it can be.

And to my amazing girlfriends I've shared precious moments with, past and present, je vous aime so much, thank you for your love, light, and presence.

Love,

Aude xo