You Are a Snowflake

You are a snowflake, begging for a break, trying to stay cool, so afraid to melt. You fell from the clouds, a long long way down…

Once upon a time, you were a drop in the ocean, atoms of hydrogen and oxygen, H2O, to sound cool, nothing too different. You know, just trying to stay afloat, swiping on the sand, crashing on a boat, surfing with the gang.

But you rose, the mercury too, nothing could stop you, and you went up, all the way up. It just happened, you couldn’t stop, it was never the goal, to fly a gassy road.

You travelled without a suitcase, you saw the world, just in case, in case it might end, and never be the same. 

You danced across the sky, you painted it with colors so bright they’re seen by the blinds. Blues, pinks, and purples, juicy strides of magic. Go ahead, take a pic. 

But then, it got cold, and heavy. You felt stuck, one with too many. Your mind got cloudy. The lightness of the sunset turned to suffocation. The cirrocumulus turned to cumulonimbus, so you buckled up and got on the bus. You felt it coming, like in any song or story, the cliff, the drop, but with no bridge to catch you this time, no el nino to tag along. The storm, the flurry, the record lows, with high piles of snow. The weatherman was happy.

You felt alone, yet fell with billions. Coming down from a high, blurring up the sky. You fell all the way down, nestled in a snow bank, somewhere up North, or down, depending on how you look at it. Truthfully, there is no top or bottom on a sphere, but it comforts some to think they’re above others, revealing that their ego took over.

You look around: it’s deep white, but you see dark. You feel different. They feel like this too. We’re all unique, yet kind of the same. It’s winter, it’s silent.

From the outside looking in, you’re a speck of white in the infinite, a frozen derivation of water, substance alternating state and circling this planet. Sometimes it feels like you’re just part of a chemical experiment. A speck of white in the infinite, they say… But you still feel different, unique even.

They push you, shove you onto the side, get dirt in your mind, step on you, like you’re an anomaly, an alien from the sky.

They only like you when they see you from their inside, these rare romantic moments with the wood crackling and the pine needles perfuming the living room with plastic plants that’ll never bloom. They like you from afar. They prefer their comfort, that’s just how it is. When you touch them, they can feel it. Damn, that’s cold! People prefer not to feel. Don’t take it personal. Never be neutral. That’s not why you crystalized. 

The truth is... 

You are a masterpiece.

It doesn’t matter if they know it, if they see it, if they like you or if they don’t: your truth is unconditional, your uniqueness is factual. Their eyes can’t even see the beauty of your design. They’re obsessed with their navel, and they miss the spectacle. 

Yet no matter how many snowflakes there are, no matter how many variations this world has seen, remember that you are absolutely and indubitably unique and mind-blowing as the wind blows you afar and as the sun tries to melt you down, you are still unique, the first and the last of your kind, the most limited edition you can find. 

Don’t let your doubts kidnap the sweetest feeling of realizing and embracing your divine nature, to admire the art of you, to celebrate your incomparable architecture. Please don’t try to fit a puzzle that is not yours. It would be painful, and futile. 

You might feel like another snowflake lost in a snow bank, but you are a perfection beyond comparison. This is your season. Let it snow, let it go. Be great before you melt.

Robot Romance

Years-disguised-in-minutes ago, I was a fierce atheist, always up for a debate as to why religion and "feeling people's energy" were total bullshit with a bow on it. Their interpretation and their execution can certainly be such at times, like all things human, but their roots and noble purpose deserve our consideration.

Then I realized that although the metaphysical might not always be as comfortable as the physical/tangible plane of reality, that it is where I want to play and explore. In this sense, I became a kid again.

I am grateful to be meeting the right teachers and to be given some tools to see other sides of the coin: it's not that flat. They showed me how sad it is to ever think that "this is it", that "science" is always exact, and that we've reached our maximum capacities. 

We haven't solved the greatest mysteries, and you and I may never will. It's exciting, it keeps us wondering.

How much are we afraid to even consider that we don't know it all right now, and that this lifetime won't give us all the answers? So we give up the search through our fear our failure (the same applies to dating when we give up on true love like being alone is what we truly want), wondering why our life feels dull, as we order another drink that we'll soon regret, as our alarm slaps us hard in a face we can't recognize anymore. 

How can we design a better future? 

Let's go on a little ride together, and think about how different could the future be. Here, take a seat, and a bottle of Soylent while you're here.

I'll share with you different predictions which I'm making through extrapolation of the current trends and variables that are known and observable, and through my own lenses and imagination. It's one of a few paths I've thought about, nothing too extravagant. The other ones are a little too abstract for blogging. 



Technology evolve in its form, but human needs and desires remain stable to their core. I invite you to withhold judgement for a moment, or try not to make sense out of them, as if you were an alien meeting this world for the very first time.

I'm not a sci-fi expert either, I'm a semi-professional dreamer. Observe the ideas with an open mind, or read them like stories. In fact, many authors and thinkers such as Arthur C. Clarke, Gene Roddenbury, Aldus Huxley and George Orwell, believed that science fiction would offer a window to explore human condition like no other way.

So get on the starship of your mind:

Most of our time is already spent in alternate realities, i.e. digital world, accessed throughs screens, but this is just the start. Most hardware will disappear and technologies will be seemingly integrated into our brain and body. That's pretty obvious. Having 6 sizes of screens is neither convenient, or environmentally sustainable. Clarke would agree: "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic". Augmented reality, augmented vision and holographic screens will replace physical devices. 

I believe that many will commit "reality suicides", basically disconnecting from the physical world and fully escaping to software-designed realities that will be generated based on their dreams, desires and personalities. In the physical "sober" world or "reality", (i. e. common agreement for humans to function normally with this given set of senses and current cerebral capacities), nothing is perfect, nor is it meant to be. There are consequences and risks to every one of our actions. Life will feel easier in the primitive stages of these virtual spheres initially designed to entertain us, or at least for as long as we'll have control over it. For example, it will be easier to cheat on your virtual girlfriend than on your actual wife. This appeal will lead to new types of addiction, for which detox centers will be built. 

But one day, things will change, and reality will be what your awareness is perceiving at any given point. "Virtual" will disappear from our vocabulary, meaning the line between "real" and "virtual" will blur and vanish. The "virtual" will be regulated, and we will lose full control. The party will be over. Think about it like the word "mobile" is becoming obsolete. Now, everything is mobile, because it's a basic human desire to be free of our movement and technology is the evolving expression of our desires

Although many see Singularity as a threat to humankind (like my longterm crush Elon Musk), I see it as a way to accelerate the fall of broken systems, making room to birth of better ones. Most of us don't have the strength or courage to make the right decisions, and we can't take into account all the variables necessary to understand what is necessary to achieve the "greater good."

Computers can, or will, with an increasing accuracy. It is our chance to be forced into real evolution, however painful it might be, versus falling into complacence and automation, as depicted by the movies Wall-E and Idiocracy...

Artificial Intelligences won't make ego-driven decisions, or be as affected by their selfish goals, traumas and personal beliefs. Therefore, what would require a "sacrifice" for us or what would necessitate the intelligence to predict future consequences so that we would finally have the knowledge to make better decisions, will be the simple answer to an obvious equation for these so-called "robots". The courage and objectivity of their decisions will also be a reflection of their power, which is scary from an individualistic perspective, but not for our collective ascendance.

We go to great extent to prove our "viral" nature by not only killing each other but killing all other forms of life. This apparent supremacy won't last. We deserve smarter enemies to show us a lesson of humility. There is no equality or pity in nature, that's a man-made concept, designed to protect the masses. 

In fact, we are the ones creating these intelligent robots, which demonstrates a certain courage and an admirable curiosity, yet again a twisted inclination for self-destruction. But if we make these robots "human-like" to play God, it will surely comfort some and increase sales, ease the adoption process, but once again it will demonstrate our arrogance, selfishness and be inefficient. Of course the human form is not necessary to be kind, just and incredibly intelligent. 

There will be an economy of time, a time market if you will (yes, like the movie In Time). Aging will be luxury. Giving birth won't be a right, you will need a permit. From a physical perspective, once you can't pro-create, the body becomes deadweight and it consumes more than it produces. We are trying to cheat death, and we're pushing on our original expiration date.

But on the other side, the mind can always produce value, or wisdom, in an ever-increasing manner, even if the body decays, leveraging acquired knowledge and building an incredible wisdom database in an exponential manner, especially as we ascend in consciousness, beyond our current limitations. Using a fraction of our brain is an insult to our potential.

Under certain conditions and rigorous testing, some humans will have the opportunity to experience some form of immortality, having their minds working to support and develop human consciousness, as their bodies will be "renovated", regenerated, but probably not all present due to the energy requirements of maintaining a human body. Some people or their human mind will remain "alive" without their original human body. Eventually, they won't have any of the same body parts that they had at birth, but they will be attributed a new container for the same mind and soul with which they first arrived on Earth. (Yes, this is a dream of mine Outliving my body for a few centuries). 

Also, on the subject of time, we will finally understand the non-linearity, or the multi-dimensionality of time, and yes we will be able to time travel, just like we can pause, rewind, and fast-forward on a movie. We are now in the front-end of reality, and as we understand more of the backend,  we will emancipate from this thinking that this is all there is to reality, like a flat A to Z waste of time.

" Electromineralism with a tendency of Pop-Shamanism" art by Android Jones. One of my favorites.

"Electromineralism with a tendency of Pop-Shamanism" art by Android Jones. One of my favorites.

Drugs, pills and psychotherapy will be substituted for Emotional Engineering through which we will be able to permanently alter our brain's chemistry, either for the "greater good" (*cough* governmental control), or to please your own desires, such as feeling love for someone, locking in these butterflies and happy feelings that once fleeted your mind, or to heal from traumas. 

Real human relationships are complex and expensive to maintain. For most people, relationships will be virtual. The price and accessibility of the Artificial Intelligences with whom we connect will be based on their human qualities and emotional intelligence levels. Some AI's won't be accessible to all, because of their level of sophistication, like a new type of "celebrities", built to engage with the elite. Scarcity will be maintained to create a new type of virtual economy, but also to prevent the poisoning of these systems with low-level thinking and other mutations from Internet bullying that might alter the programming of these AI's. But again, "artificial" will become a useless word, just like "mobile" and "virtual". 

The stigmas around sex will lessen, and so will the guilt and shame around the physical envelope that carries us. This is more of a personal opinion but I could see clinics in which you could receive "sexual" and Tantric stimulation through mechanical, emotional and chemical stimulation, experience explosive orgasms to relief stress and experience incredible amounts of pleasure, much more so than from receiving a back massage for example. Much. More. In fact, "sexual" will become more "physical", as religion releases its grip on our thinking, and as pragmatism overtakes our "duty to pro-create." But these hedonistic tendencies might be seen as wasteful as we realize how sex is not necessary for our advancement. Sorry. It will go either way. But beyond the friction of two bodies overflowing with hormones, we will deepen our capacity to experience intimacy, and see how it is a door to the divine, to the power of spirituality.

We will clearly see how the Internet is a representation of the structure and the connectivity of human consciousness, or the "collective unconscious". Once mapped out, networked and accessed, companies and government officials will be able to directly implement data in our brains (emotions, decisions, desires), which will be much more efficient than any kind of law "enforcement" or attempt to advertise to our abused eyes. 

Meat from animals being killed will be illegal, as the equation simply doesn't make any sense, and meat can be grown in labs. But we'll probably trick our brains to feel satiated and will evidently ingurgitate more pills and shakes. 

Lifeless human bodies will be used for energy production, mostly through combustion (I wouldn't dare to say food...). Outlaws will be assigned to productive tasks, their minds adding power to these next-generation "consciousness servers". 

Education will be extremely accessible, and will not only be free, but organizations will financially support you on your learning path in exchange of your mind's capacities, so you can better develop your skills and focus on achieving your "purpose". Your purpose will be known before you know how to put two words together.

Knowledge is already out in the open, sitting on servers and in our minds, so the concept to pay just to serve someone else thinking we need paper books and a fancy frame is extremely damaging to our progress and will burn for good. (I do not wish for a second that my future kids to go to a "prestigious school". Paper is not prestigious. Curiosity and a sense of wonder are, they lead to knowledge, which is where power can be unlocked). 

Ultimately, our abstract thinking and creativity will be our main value, as it is the hardest piece to replicate, the "divine" essence that makes us yet which we can't fully understand. We will buy theoretical knowledge, and brain upgrades. But creation necessitates connection with emotions, a deep understanding for human desires that is digested back into art, solutions, products, etc. This is why we see a rise in the feminine energy,  and this rise in power is and will be painful for men, until we reunite both and experience freedom. Intuition, empathy and mindfulness will redefine what "power" means. 

The Human race will be forced to bow down in front of a different type of intelligence that has been ignored, oppressed and abused for centuries: the Technology of Nature. At that point, we will tap into incredible databases of wisdom, heal these wounds we've created by constantly trying to control Nature, and separate ourselves from it. For example, our vision of "bacterias" will be extremely different. This obsession for cleanliness is one symptom of this incredible fear we have to let Nature have power over us, because we are part of her, and another sign of our arrogance. Well, we will be shown a lesson, in time.

And then,  we will meet ourselves again, realizing the importance of communities, and the respect of higher forces. We will embrace our interdependence, our social and emotional qualities, and see it as complementarity through which we can achieve beautiful synergies. Spirituality will become essential to survive, as the physical world will mutate in front of us, and all of its empty promises will fall down, for us to better rise, realize our place in the Universe, and our role to serve each other.

Fractal Forest, by Android Jones

Fractal Forest, by Android Jones




The Surprising Benefits of Abstinence

For the majority of my adult life, my life was punctuated with regular sex (mechanical more than intimate), ensuring a steady flow of hormones, as shared with my long-term serious boyfriends. ("Serious relationship", what an exciting way to describe it.) 

In fact, from 17 years old to 27 years old, I didn't really know what it meant to be single, and my friends made bets that I wouldn't be able to enjoy such freedom. I was a safe girlfriend, because I was closed off. I never asked anyone to open up. I didn't know "intimacy" wasn't a brand of tampons or something.

During these periods of physical comfort and stability, the creativity that had blessed my younger days also diminished. After years with the same good boyfriend, it came to a point where I barely ever wrote, drew or danced anymore. It led to a semi-depressive functional state, which I dismissed because my life was "paper perfect". 

In the winter of 2014, I left Boston and embarked on a self-exploratory phase in California, which brought on a lovely emotional chaos, and an irregular sexual life. Yet, I felt alive. Some majestic mountains and powerful waves, but mostly a clear valley, fertile of personal growth.

At the moment of writing this, I haven't had sex more than two months, which is uncommon for me. Yet, we are sexual beings, as a way to experience a state of communion with humanity, celebrating the beauty of the human machine, and healthily digest the hormones that flood our veins and that drive us to multiply.

Sex, as the mystical magnetism that ensures the survival or the virality of the human race, seems to be humanity's biggest driver. 

And for reasons I have yet to detail here, masturbation is not part of my daily routine, and I hesitate to engage with the practice, partially for the potential benefits I am about to illustrate.

I am not Saint-Aude-Olivia, and I don't escape the wiring of a sophisticated little ape. Which makes it so that right now, after two months of involuntary abstinence through uncontrollable circumstances like traveling, a heart in repair and because of my growing standards for a relationship of substance and my newly affirmed sapiosexuality, I feel like I could explode like a firework, but in a good way...

To give you an idea, I sleep about 5 hours a day, and never drink coffee, I dance instead of walking, and do so across anywhere from 4-6 miles a day. I also do advanced level hot yoga every day, to burn some of this life force that electrifies my body. I'm often asked what drug I am on.

It's really like there is a motor inside me, an infinite source of sustainable energy, green and all the other colors known to the eye.

On a creative level, it is nirvana: this is my third post written today, and I wrote a poem in about five minutes. There is very little friction in my creative process, I am in a state of flow and have been since I've separated from the typical modern dating dynamics, about 18 months ago or so. 

As I was dancing home and feeling like Molly was here with me, listening to hip hop just to accentuate the feeling, I remembered how this hyperactivity led to some attention trouble in school, or our favorite condition and excuse to be distracted and uncaring: ADD, dun dun dun. Indeed, I have read less books than I have fingers, and the doctor suggested I should be medicated, which I immediately refused.

Now, aside from this destructive desire we have to normalize everyone and to suppress people's natural gifts so that the masses can be comforted in their relative skill set, I think it's time we change our outlook on relationship challenges and "abnormal" behaviors, in this case, my apparent state of hyperactivity, which I believe is linked to this phase of abstinence, and the resulting benefits of it, which include incredible levels of creativity. 

Let me explain through empirical data. Here's an example of how sex can trump other forms of creativity, in my life at least: 

This man and I had been seeing each other for a few months. He taught me many things about love, and it was consuming on all levels. Looking back, I wasn't quite ready to embark on such a journey. It's one reason it was better to come back to Canada. 

Upon our return from EDC, a multi-day rave in Vegas spent swimming in pools of people and abundance of all sorts of substances, he stayed at my place for seven days straight.

Quick math, with the rave: 10 days total, 24/7, same room, same air.

He didn't go to work, and even cancelled an important job interview. I was quite surprised, but whatever, let's Netflix and chill. It was idyllic. A vacation from all concerns, out on the island of our minds.

We had sex (or made love I guess), ate decadent food, laughed, and watched Rick and Morty, Portlandia and The Office, like our lives depended on it. A wide range of useless social studies. 

Our biggest dilemma was what kind of pizza or sweets should we get: ice cream, or donuts? Donuts filled with ice cream? Ice cream with donuts chunks? Not an easy life. 

We were the least productive human beings you can imagine. Sophisticated humans sloths. Even the couch started to wonder what was up with us.

But I think I know what it was, but I have yet to tell the couch:

We were content, sexually satisfied and in love (intoxicated by endorphin and oxytocin). We had everything humans ever really need, or at least a version of it, one that could satisfy the both of us at this time.

We were on vacation of life's most common source of anxiety: loneliness, as we were feeling blissful, appreciating stillness, and being obnoxiously lazy through the calmness provided by each other's embrace. 

Guess what: I did not write for ten days, which, in my case, is highly unusual. Otherwise, my cruising speed had been thousands of words per day, just to put things in perspective. 

This pattern repeated itself through every episode of romantic and physical proximity we shared. Comfort, as calming at it can be, also seems to tame our motivation to go above and beyond. Beyond what, in this case? It's already here and now. 

I believe that your energy can be released within the bedsheets, paper sheets, workouts, or any other way to wish to use it. You have a certain amount of life force that builds up within you, and you decide how to invest it. 

Now I am sure that the initial phase of romantic love can surely be uplifting, energizing for some, and very much inspiring, but still, the resulting comfort that ensues over a longer period of time, I think, might make some stagnate and dampen the intensity at which with you used to create.

In the alternate case, I believe that emotional trouble and physical separation has the potential, if it is well channeled, to stimulate your creativity, through the space that it creates within yourself that will be filled with inspiration. This space allows you to receive the " divine data" (we'll talk more about this over time).

Think about this sweet feeling you get after an orgasm... You just want to relax. Nothing else matters. What a lovely high. And that's okay, it's great, it's wonderful, but the opposite should be examined, experienced, and celebrated too. 

When do we ever practice self-control?  

In fact, let me develop an even bolder theory: 

Emerging artists often create their very best work in their early days, as their genius is coming to life. They're making something, like making love, but simply with a different medium.

Let's assume that their atypical view of the world results in some level of isolation, and silence. I believe that this is when there is a stronger vibration and communication with the divine source of inspiration, because there is space to receive the signals waiting for our receptivity be stronger. 

There is a search, a hunger, an openness to receive the data, the love in other ways than the one we can get from another human being. Loneliness is patched with spurs of inspiration. Their creative energy yields art, instead of being consumed orgasms, or to grow humans. 

Then, they might experience some level of success. I know that I will, but as of now, the secrecy and the loneliness of the exercise maintains the purity of my creative process, which I honor, enjoy, and very much respect.

This success might mutate to some kind of fame; ensues attention, fans, sex and love in all sorts of external forms, some being healthy, some not, some being substantial, some being superficial. 

Whereas you once opened yourself to silence (out of choice or isolation) to signals transforming you into a channel for incredible beauty to be expressed through your innate talents, you now feel satiated with physical distractions, external attention and entertainment, inadvertently muting the signals from within, and from above. 

The hunger is gone, you're full of human love. The words and the notes don't sound the same. The magic feels plastic. The source has changed: it is now driven by the ego, the fear of losing the attention of the people you once didn't know.

Fear is certainly a powerful driver, but it is not as pure as the desire to be one with all, through art. In fact, I believe that art is God's expression through us. (When I say God, it's a substitute for a higher force, and a polite rejection of the new age vocabulary that is overused. God can be anything you want, you choose, as I trust your critical sense. I do not refer to any religious dogma or to any caricature of a white bearded man).

I am ready to submit this hypothesis to a more rigorous scientific evaluation and I predict that there will be an inverse correlation between the quality and the quantity of art created and the amount of sex and external stimulation a person has in her life.

It might also be why some sexual practices like Tantra teaches the withholding of orgasm, as a way to preserve your energy and increase pleasure. Orgasm is seen as losing this vital energy into the other. Tantra brings the observer to sustained, long-lasting states of bliss, instead of a short-lived overspill in a latex bag. 

Should we build up our powers or give them up under greed, lust and impatience? 

Others practice "edging", surfing below orgasm levels for long periods of time in order to increase the explosiveness of the well anticipated and spectacular orgasm that follows through this self-control we too rarely consider. 

Clearly, our society doesn't really value patience and anticipation, negatively affecting our desire, creative capacities and levels of energy. We live in abundance, and often fall in gluttony. 

So now, these last few months have been blessed with beautiful creativity, and haven't been marked by constant physical proximity.

To me, the relationship between both variables is getting clearer, and it feels magical. 

I enjoy this incredible wave of inspiration, and I write as much as I can, well knowing that the velocity and the quality of my writing will mutate as I partner with another soul, transforming this vibrancy into physical intimacy and other forms of creation. 

I will feel content, calm, my cravings will soften, and my creativity will be expressed in other ways too. Ultimately, all this energy will concretize into beautiful children, whom I will enjoy meeting and getting to know, just like I now enjoy birthing art. 

Of course I will always write, dance or draw, but maybe not to the point of breaking / fucking my keyboard, dreaming about words, and being physically aroused to the idea of a good metaphor.

As a creator, I invite you to think about making room for your body to channel this powerful vibrancy which can be expressed in a multitude of ways, beyond binging and humping.

This love that flows within you can be consumed and transformed in many ways, but I doubt it can be done in all forms, at all times, and such expectations will lead to frustrations in one area or the other.

The sexual energy that flows through us, I believe is this electric current, this life force, or "God", and can be transformed into spiritual, or creative energy. 

Therefore, you might leverage your sexual healing and abstinence to deepen your presence within your body, connecting more strongly with the mind and allowing yourself to tap into greater wisdom, which is what many meditative and spiritual practices invite us to do. Happily enough, we don't need to be monks on a top of a far-away mountain to do so. 

Cum of paint or ink, covering white pages and canvases of your vibrant genius, or be delighted to paint her white skin with your secret of life. 

Cum, deep into our minds and hearts horny for your art. 

(Hmm. I loved writing this... It feels so good.)